The luckiest golf shot ever - Darren Clarke

25 Aug 2010 in Funny

A Man Was Riding his Harley...

09 Aug 2010 in Funny

A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly
the sky cleared above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord
said,

'Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will
grant you one wish.'

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can
ride over anytime I want.'

The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous
challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching
the bottom of the Pacific; and the concrete and steel it would take! It
will nearly exhaust several natural resources.

I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for such
worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that
could possibly help mankind.'

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'Lord,
I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how
she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the
silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's
wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can
make a woman truly happy.'

The Lord replied, 'You want two lanes or four lanes on that
bridge?'

Remember Red Skelton

09 Aug 2010 in Funny

For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this e-mail. For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A re-run of great 'one liner's' from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more. . . RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays..

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas ..

3. I take my wife everywhere,
but she keeps finding her way back..

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
So I suggested the kitchen..

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops..

6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said 'There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!' So I bought her an electric chair..

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, 'In the lake.'..

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off..

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, 'Am I too late
for the garbage?' The driver said, 'No, jump in!'..

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce..

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was 'Always'..

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her..

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, 'What's on the TV?'
I said, 'Dust!'..

Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it........these were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words...

'God Bless' with a big smile on his face.

Millennium - Weekly Competition

24 Jul 2010 in Tournaments

Millennium GC was our venue for the Individual Stableford this Saturday.
This course provides the chance to score well, but with varying pace on several of the greens, with patchwork quilts on some, and snail pace golfers in front for all of the 18 holes it took the toll on some of us.
The 5 holes in the trees on the first 9 are always a pleasure to play, and are not complemented by the 1st,2nd, 8th and 9th, however the trees on these holes are now getting bigger and soon will be a bit more daunting.
The back nine normally lends itself to better scoring, and this proved the case this week with most players in the top half having improved back nines.
The 15th was our Nearest the Pin hole, and was won by Rob Jones, one of our regular guests, who with 36pts also took 3rd prize.
2 players emerged with the same score of 38pts, bringing the infamous better back 9 format into play, Adrian Fairclough came 2nd to our Foral Cup defending Champion Chris Norman, who looks like is running into form at the right time to defend his title in 2 weeks.
There is no Society Comp this Saturday, as most of our members and guests are playing in the Jon Rehm Memorial Day. So our next Tournament is the Foral Cup on the 7th August, see you there if not before.

Pinhal - Weekly Competition

17 Jul 2010 in Tournaments

Pinhal GC was the selected choice for this weeks Stableford Competition.
The course was very dry following the recent hot spell, making some of the greens firm and not consistent to putt on. The course is due to close for maintenance this week and I'm sure this is needed to bring the greens and approaches to the greens back to an improved condition.
In this period of maintenance by the courses green staff, some of our members thought it would be a good idea to level out some of the teeing areas, so a flat surface would be attained for driving off on all tees.
Weather was perfect for golf, sunny with a gentle breeze which did not affect many holes when playing with and against.
The 14th was chosen as our Nearest the Pin and was won by Jeff Seymour with a tee shot to one foot away.
2nd position went to one of our new members, Peter Densham, with 32pts, but 1st place with 35pts went to Jeff Seymour.
We're at Millennium GC next week, so see you there, if not before.